A moment of sincere tears

A (not so long) post I'm going to write tonight.

A lot of things to say from the deepest of my heart.

By far, it has been such rough months for me. I used to be quite strong in handling tears but now not anymore.

Dear Dayyan, the eldest boy in family.

I still remember that night, before your solemnization ceremony, we slept together (family hall). It was hard at first for me to let you go. On your reception, you were the most handsome groom I've ever seen in my life. You looked exactly like dadda-o.

I still remember when you told me that I was the cutest baby you've ever seen, now you have 4 babies, who is really looks like me when I was little.

I still remember the day when you first had your heart broken with your first girlfriend, that time you were still in high school.

I still remember your face when you almost paralyzed. You were only 20 y/o that time.. I cried myself to sleep almost everyday when you were still in the hospital.

I still remember when we used to share our bedroom together with abang ngah and achik when we were little. We used to fight most of the time.

I still remember when you were still single, whenever I ran out of nice clothes to go out with my friends, your girlfriend's stuff was always a good choice/ idea to use.

We shared so many secrets together.

I am really grateful for having a brother like you.

You're the one who knows me best, abang.

I'd be lying if I say I'm not crying right now.

Thank you for always being there for me, especially these past few days. I love you along.

Dear Kak phatyn, the cousin I will go up to, to find a good advice.

We have grown up together.

I still remember when we were little I had my first asthma attack, you forced me to go to the clinic after the birthday party. I was intractable and hard headed, I told you I was fine, it was just a little asthma attack. But right after I reached home, my lungs seemed to be tighter than before. Terus teringat awak :(

These past few days, I realize that you've helped a lot for me to be strong enough to face my problems.

But most of all, you've helped to carry on.

I guess, you know me quite well too. I love you, Kak phatyn. Forever, inshaAllah. I miss you.