gruelling part of growing up

Well, hello there. Hawauyu?


Ok, boleh baling telur sebab blog dah semakin hari semakin bosan. Orang pemalas nak convey ideas memang camni.


So, I'm back in new semester. Alhamdulillah although I can get better results if I hadn't fooling around w myself, alas, Prof Zaf proceed me to part six. Can't thank him a million enough. First day of school was cool. I've set upon myself some goals. Academically, spiritually and few important aspects of life. 


I'm hoping in heading the right directions. I want to live in NOW but am wanting for something good for the future as well.


just turned 21 last December, I find adulthood is quite a combination of exhaustion and satisfaction. It depends on how you perceive life, moments and the effort you take. Some things keep remind me of what do I want to do in life, actually. I'm at the age where I could've at least accomplished something good in life or in a direction where I shall be both happy and feeling life is reward.


Christian Siriano won Project Runway when he was 21. Adele had Grammys at what, 24? Ezrin had his design published in a design website at 21 jugak I think and Najwa Latif had bought a car, paid cash, while she's still in high school, not to forget, Aiman has become a Malaysia YouTube phenomenon at 20/21. Not saying that I should upload a YouTube video of myself and gain views from public, but they had accomplished something in their life at such young age. 


And me, still struggling in this gruelling part of growing up.


Back to school.


First day we were given esquee project, without any further ado, of redesign the look for the ever dreadful cafeteria of the faculty. Hopefully UIA will have some budget of improving the café's condition soon. Well, the esquee is due on next Monday. Basically when you get into the higher year of studies, everything will be dropped on you lap at the very first hello of the first day of class. No surprise there. But I did have a blank moment while lecturers was giving few two cents on what this part will endure. No surprise there either. HAHA.


Growing up is a bit painful. You start to miss childhood. Where you regret of hoping to become adult, then, and you felt that you should have joined Peter Pan to Neverland. You slowly starting to move far and more far than home. You slowly spent less of your school breaks with parents. You slowly spent less time with your inner self, gradually, until you reach the age where its the time for your kids to feel it too.


And what sucks most when you grow up, you always have something to say about everything. Good or bad, up front or down back, right or left, inside or outside, we tend to become the judge of the world where we decide what's good for others, for self and everything about us is never wrong. Well admit it, denying the wrongs we've done/said only adding insults to the injuries. 


Lovers will become friends and friends will at some point become strangers. There will be back stabbings, betrayals, talks behind backs all sorts of stuffs. These are one of most gruelling part in growing up. Not that am saying I haven't done all these, but man, when it is your turn to be the subject, it hurts real bad. Pulling out a bandage pun tak sesakit tu.


Therefore, even though I don't quite afford to own a car,cashly paid like Najwa Latif, or preparing a debut in US like Yuna, I want to achieve something, for myself, this time around. I want to know, like Luke Brandon in Confessions of Shophaholic by Sophie Kinsella quote, I'm asking if I am a good investment. how much I 'worth'. Not for others, but for myself. 


We'll come to the part where everything seems so hard, and feeling like everyone trying to push you down, but if we can survive before, why not now? 


And in order to meet the goals, some adjustments needed to be done. 
Tengah slowly mengajar diri ke direction yang betul. A step at a time. 
Moga tak terpesong niat ni, tetaplah teguhla niat ni. 








p/s. I don't know if anyone ever read my blog. So, thank you for reading :)