Pantai Hospital; Oct 24 2017.

During treatment, a doctor asked me,

"How does a head injury occur?" and he continues with "What is your full name?" 

... and too suddenly, I'm stuck with the question in my mind. Knowing the answer, but it keeps confusing me.

All (records & treatments) are performed by a doctor...

Then..

Doctor told me,

"You shouldnt drive with a concussion. The symptoms associated with this condition".

"Drowsiness is one of the most common symptoms". 

And that means that I wont be able to pay attention to the road. And sometimes lead me falling unconscious even hours after the injury was sustained. If that happens when I behind the whee I'll lose control and crash.

Calling for my driver to take me home...

Play a record...

And I cry inside of me, 

"What's wrong with me, why the world is cruel to me"

"When I become like this?"

"Why I"

Why ..

Grade 3 concussion (Traumatic brain injury)

30 days after accident.

Done with MRI

& a week before struggling to accept this result;


I got no idea that I have sustained a severe concussion.





Im so tired of being strong.








I want to be foolish and frightened for once.

In the middle of the night

* currently having a deep conversation in my mind with me , myself and i *

If

I wish,

If it is him, make him close.
in any way he can be close to me.

If it is him, make him smile.
in any way I can make him.

If it is him, make him say.
in any way he wanted, genuinely.

if it is him, make him stay.
every way, every time, forever, don't stray.

if it is him, make us together.

if it is him, make him mine.














i do. i do.
want him, to be mine.